I, Tracy
by Arashi no Baka
Summary: [Rated for language] The Tracy boys were famous before they could even walk. But the boys had a lot to learn before they accepted who they were. [Chapter Two-Posted]
1. Tuesday 14th October 2053

I, Tracy

By Arashi no Baka

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Notes: I know it's really bad form to post something else whilst you still have fics on the go, but seriously, Judas is a major headache at the moment. First, my computer decided to catch a virus, and it ate my chapter. So I wiped it and then re-wrote some of the chapter. Then, my clever little brother decided it would be fun to delete stuff from my computer whilst I wasn't looking. He wiped chapters of fics, pics, and worst of all my GORDON FANART! Drawn for me by a friend! So…he will pay severally when I'm through with him. As for Judas, you'll have to b patient. I'm only glad I wrote in my pad before writing it up.

More Notes: as for this fic….It's a Tracy Kids fic, that no doubt has been done to death. Well…I'm doing it again ; p

Code: _Italics:_ Thoughts **Bold:** Time Normal: Normal time.

****

**Updated: 24th October 2004: **Thanks to **Tikatu **for pointing out a few things in this fic : P First off, I changed the **ages** for Alan and Gordon. Some of you may have noticed that I had Alan at 9 and Gordon at 8. I changed it so that Alan is now 12 and Gordon is 13. (I know that's not late teens, but Ill need to re-write the whole chapter again otherwise, and I'm lazy : P) This is also **Tv-verse** purely, because I've done too much movie so far…also, I'm having a bit of trouble with the American School system, so if anyone can help me Id be purely grateful.

****

Chapter One: 14th October 2053

11:00

"Gordon Tracy!" Gordon looked up from his doodling, to see his teacher looking at him from the front of the room. Her expression told him his report Card wasn't a good one, and he swallowed as he made his way between the rows of tables, taking the card from her outstretched hand.

Sighing slowly, he sipped back into his seat, hands shaking as he stared at the seemingly-innocent piece of card. Sure. Innocent. But for Gordon, it was a matter of life or death. His fathers rebuttal from the _last_ card still rang in his ears, and he knew that this one would decided just what his future consisted of.

And seeing his father disappointed in him again….Gordon didn't think he could handle that. Slowly, with trembling fingers, he slid out the card from the small envelope. He was dimly aware of others doing the same as his eyes slid down the card, fear settling in his gut.

"Oh no…." He shut the card and threw it on the table, his mind already conjuring up images of exactly what his father would say. He wondered how far away he could get from the state, if he started off now.

****

13:50

John glared angrily and tossed the boy off. He knew that if his father knew he'd be in trouble, but what Jeff didn't know, didn't hurt him. Right? He narrowed his eyes and spat a reply. "I'll never stoop to your level Billy. You're a jerk."

Billy snarled and grabbed hold of the front of John's jacket, his face inches from the blondes. "Is that true? Well, Tracy, do I have to remind you what I'm capable of? Or have you forgotten what I did to your beloved brother?"

John's head snapped back, his eyes blazing with a fury he felt rarely. He scrunched his hand into a fist, and smacked it into Billy's face, sending the boy sprawling, his hands releasing John's jacket on reflex. John stared down at him, his expression incredulous. "No. I haven't forgotten. And I swear, if you come near Alan, or _any_ of my brothers _ever_ again, this is the _nicest_ thing I'll do to you. Got it?"

Billy Thomson may have been a bully, but he wasn't stupid. He knew well enough what John was capable off when he was pissed. And even more so what he was capable of when you put his family in jeopardy. The humiliation he felt from the last time John and Scott had beaten him up was still fresh on his memory. And the fact that John was the _calm_ one, had made it that much more humiliating.

Which was why he had taunted John on passing. Only to suffer more at the hands of the blonde. John sneered and turned away. "I don't have time for this. Stay out of my way Billy, and I won't have to hurt you."

John shoved his hands in his pockets and turned away, surprised by how much he had enjoyed punching Billy. He hoped he wasn't going to start _liking_ the fact that he was punching people…that just wasn't good…

****

16:00

Scott Tracy stared at the piece of paper in disbelief. Something had to be wrong. _Had_ to be. This couldn't be happening again. Now for the second time in four months. His eyes flicked to the blonde in front of him, and then back down to the paper, as if looking away would deny what it was telling him. "You know what this says?"

"How could I not? They wouldn't just send me home without telling me why…"

Scott couldn't believe the tone of voice his brother was using. How could he be so flippant? Blue eyes crackled with a defiance Scott had yet to understand, let alone master. The fierce strength and determination in those eyes belied the small frame. "Dad…."

"I don't care Scott. Really…"

The harsh disappointment in the young voice put Scott on edge. He wondered what distance this would put between father and son. As if the gap wasn't impossibly wide already. "You have to tell him. When he comes home. That's if he doesn't know already…."

"Yeah? So? Like it will change anything."

Scott bit back and angry retort and stared at his younger brother angrily. "And you wonder _why_ with an attitude like that? When are you going to start growing up Alan?"

His younger brother snapped. The anger in the intense blue eyes vented through his mouth and actions. "You just don't get it do you? It doesn't _matter_ what I do! If I'm good, it never seems to matter, because you've all done it before me! And when I'm bad, I get yelled at and then ignored! No matter what I do, Alan Tracy might as well not exist!"

Alan snatched the letter out of Scott's hand and tore it up. He let the pieces flow to the floor, taking perverse delight in the way Scott's face changed to one of disbelief and horror. "I _hate_ being a Tracy! And you know hwy? Because no matter what I do, I will _never_ live up to what people expect of a Tracy son. Ever. So why bother trying?"

So saying, Alan disappeared into his bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

****

17:45

"Alan? What's up?"

Alan glanced up from his position on the bed as his brother entered the room, his expression concerned. He shrugged lightly and then spoke his tone deliberate and soft. "I was expelled Gordy….this afternoon."

There was silence for a minute, and then Alan felt the bed sag, where Gordon had sat down on it. "What did you do this time Alan? You'd didn't get into another fight did you?"

"Hardly. I doubt they would have expelled me for that, although I wouldn't put it past them. No. This time I…uh…I got into a verbal fight with the teacher, that ended...badly." Alan sat up, so that he could see his brother better, Gordon's face gave nothing away.

"Al…does Dad know?"

"Quite likely, considering the head teacher mentioned something about ringing him. He's going to be decidedly unhappy with me." That was an understatement, and they both knew wit. This wasn't exactly the first time Alan had been expelled.

"That makes two of us then" Gordon's words brought Alan's head back up, his eyes searching his brothers face for any sign of what was wrong, It was then that Alan spotted the report card in his brothers hand. He raised an eyebrow, his expression impassive.

"Bad marks?"

"Bad probably isn't the word I'd use. And it won't be the word _dad _uses either." The two of them sat in silence for while, not exactly happy, but glad to have someone to talk to, and to be there when you needed them.

****

18:15

"Alan Shepherd Tracy!"

John cringed as the front door slammed. He eyed his younger brother from across the table and could see the sympathy on both Virgil and Gordon's faces. Scott kept his face impassive as their enraged father entered the room.

What had Alan done this time?

Jeff glanced angrily at Alan, and they could all see him holding back from yelling. Alan was oddly calm, pushing back his chair slowly, and blinking at his father, his face seemingly impassive. But John could read the flicker of defiance beneath it. Jeff waved a hand angrily.

"I got a call from your headmistress today. Do you know why?"

"I should imagine it was to tell you that I was expelled." John stopped, fork halfway to his mouth. Virgil started choking on his peas and Scott slapped him hard on the back. From the suspicious way Gordon was looking at anything but his brothers, John suspected he already knew.

Hardly surprising considering that he and Alan told each other everything.

"And you think this is something to be proud of?"

"Not really. But then I doubt you would have even noticed had she hadn't contacted you."

"What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
Alan let out a derogatory snort and threw his arms up in the air. Although only thirteen his defiance and mannerisms were very much advanced. "Oh come on dad! Don't pretend you don't wish I could be more like them!" He waved a hand vaguely at John and his brothers. "You hate me! I see it in the way you act and talk to me! You hate me for so many things. Not least the death of our mother."

All activity in the room ceased. John felt an icy trickle of fear slide down his back and even Scott looked slightly fearful of Jeff's reaction. "Don't you _dare_ Alan Tracy! Don't you _dare!_"

"Why _not?!_ It's all true! Look me in the eye and tell me it wasn't my fault!" Nobody moved. Not even Jeff. Alan laughed self-mockingly and stared straight into his father's eyes. "That's what I thought."

He left the table and disappeared in the direction of his bedroom. Gordon sighed, and made to follow his brother but Scott placed a hand on his arm. "Leave him Gordy…" His red-headed brother just removed his arm and stared at Scott in silence. Then, slowly, he spoke.

"If _I_ don't go in there, _nobody_ will." He disappeared after Alan. Scott, John and Virgil could only look at their father helplessly as he stared after his two sons.

****

18:35

Gordon sighed slowly and sat in the chair, eyeing his brother cautiously. Neither had spoken since they had entered the room, but then, they didn't normally speak to each other much at all. They had no need for words most of the time. But Gordon felt he needed to talk to Alan now. After all, he hadn't exactly spoken up for his brother before had he? "Alan? I'm sorry I didn't say anything at the table…"

"Its okay Gordon. I didn't expect anyone to speak up against dad anyway. I'm not sure I even wanted _me_ to. I'm just a huge disappointment to Dad sometimes."

"Its not just you Alan. I'm not exactly top of his list at the moment either." Alan raised an eyebrow and then motioned at the report card still lying on the desk, where Gordon had left it earlier. "You're not going to show it to him then?"

"I don't know…what do you think I should do?" Gordon looked at Alan silently, hoping that his brother would have advice where he did not. Alan had far more interaction with Jeff than he did, and the fact that Alan was more often than not in trouble, gave Gordon a better idea of what Jeff would do.

"Just don't disappoint him Gordo…whatever you do, don't give him reason to hate you as much as he hates me…"

****

20:00

Talking with Alan had left Gordon feeling more confused than ever. He stood in the kitchen, the report card dangling from his hands, above the trash can. To throw it away would solve so much…but then….his father would know when he didn't receive it. Alan had said not to disappoint Jeff, and Gordon knew that his brother was likely to know best.

But what should he do?

The angry red pen marks on the card were burned onto Gordon's memory. If he was receiving marks like this at thirteen, what were his future marks going to be like? He knew he would never be a successful student, not like Virgil and Scott.

Closing his eyes briefly, Gordon tore the report card in half, his mouth suddenly dry. Throwing the remains of the card in the bin, he left the room, not realising that someone had seen.

Virgil stepped out from behind the door, frowning as he looked into the trash. He recognised the report card for what it was instantly and stared after Gordon in wonder. He picked up the pieces and pushed them together. The marks stood out like a sore thumb and Virgil knew now why Gordon had thrown it out.

That left Virgil with a difficult decision. Tell his father, or keep the secret.

Gordon. Or Jeff?

****

21:50

The last rays of the sun spread across the grass as it descended below the horizon. They illuminated two chairs on the porch, both occupied. The first had a brunette sprawled in the chair, head resting on the side, eyes closed as he dozed lightly.

Virgil eyes his sleeping brother carefully. Scott was exhausted and had been the one in with Jeff, trying to calm their father down. Virgil had no idea how Scott coped with keeping their family together. Lord knew it was difficult for _him_ to keep the brothers all together. But Scott….

Scott was his father's rock as well as theirs. It was hard to imagine Scott as the seventeen-year-old boy he was. To the brothers, he was their second father. He had raised them, perhaps more than even Jeff.

To Alan especially, Scott was a father figure.

Thoughts of Alan made Virgil think of Gordon. He still had no clue what to do. He only hoped that the morning would bring answers.

He didn't know how much longer he could keep the family together if it didn't.

Notes: hmm. That's the first chapter done. Should I continue? Or leave it?


	2. Saturday 18th October 2053

I, Tracy

By Arashi no Baka

Disclaimer: Not mine. Never will be.

Notes: Second chapter up, finally. This one took a little bit more research ;;, and then I don't think its totally okay…

I also have a request, once again. I would _really_ like a Beta. But, I'm going to annoying and ask for an _American_ Beta. Purely, because the Tracy boys are American and it would be _really_ nice if someone could help with the American side of things.

I would like to thank Tikatu for all the information you've given me so far., but I don't want to keep asking you questions and stuff because it can get annoying. I figured if I asked in _general_ someone might help…

I would also like top point out a little research I did into he dates. I searched for a five year calendar and actually figured out what day It would _really_ be on the 25th of October! And here's the result : P

Chapter Two: Saturday 18thOctober 2053

12:00

"Gordo!"

Gordon jumped and the carton he had taken from the fridge slipped through his fingers, spilling its contents across the tiled floor. He frowned, glaring up at Virgil as he gestured at the orange mess, branching out through the gaps in the white tiles. "What'd you make me jump for? Now look what you did…."

Virgil rolled his eyes and plucked two towels out of the cupboard. "Then we clear it up, don't we Gordie?" So saying, he threw one towel to Gordon and bent to his knees. Together they cleaned up the mess, as Virgil spoke, one eye trained on his brother. "I wanted to talk to you. I found your report card Gordon…."

Gordon froze, his eyes panicking and he paused in his cleaning. "I don't know what you're talking about…."

"Oh come on Gordon. I'm not stupid! I saw you throw it away the other day…." Virgil waited to see what reaction Gordon would have. His younger brother gave up all pretence of cleaning, and abandoned his cloth. He sat on the tiled floor, looking down at his feet.

"Have you told dad?"

"No Gordon. It's none of my business what you do with your report card. I wanted to wait and see what you'd do first…. And I don't suppose you've told him judging from that reaction." Gordon snorted at Virgil's words and raised a red eyebrow, picking at the cloth he had abandoned.

"That's a joke right? You saw how angry he was at Alan….I wasn't going to make him mad at me too…" Gordon took to cleaning the floor again, to distract himself from his thoughts, or just because he wanted to, Virgil wasn't sure.

"Your marks weren't terrible Gordon. And they're not the end of the world."

"Says you. You're marks are never bad. I know what Dad would say if he saw my report card….what he says to Alan when he sees his." Gordon refused to make eye contact with Virgil, but his elder brother spoke anyway.

"And that's what you're basing this on? What dad says to _Alan_?!" Virgil didn't even bother to try and mask the disbelief in his voice. The tone brought Gordon's head up and he looked at the brunette, confusion masking his features. "Gordon…Alan makes no pretence of being tolerable of Dad, and vice versa. Those two have a relationship all in its own league and you should never base anything against it. What Dad says to Alan has absolutely no reflection on what he'd say to you. Whatsoever."

Gordon had been angry at the start of Virgil's words. But he soon came to realise the truth behind them. Whether he liked it or not, Virgil was right. Alan and Jeff had a relationship that didn't match any of the other relationships Jeff held with his sons. But there was still some feeling inside of him….

No child wanted their parents disappointed in them. And Gordon was no different. He'd seen that disapproving face on his fathers face once to often, and it hurt. Every time, Jeff would shake his head and walk away. He didn't want that anymore…

"How many more report cards are you going to throw away Gordon? How many more times are you going to wonder what Dad is going to say unless you actually _do_ it?" Gordon bristled at the words and threw the cloth on the floor, climbing to his feet.

"It's alright for you! It's not _your_ report card! It's _mine!_ And its _my_ decision what I do with it! Just leave me alone Virgil! It's my choice and I'll make it!" With that, he strode out of the room, leaving Virgil to stare at the small orange puddle that was left to clean up.

"That could have gone better…."

12:30

He leaned against the kitchen door, frowning. As the eldest Tracy he knew he had an important job to do. He was supposed to look out for his brothers. But how far could you take that? Were you supposed to lie to protect them, against a parent? Were you supposed to _tell_ the parent? Even if that meant betraying the sibling?

Sometimes Scott hated this job. He hadn't meant to overhear anyway. He just happened to be walking past the kitchen when he heard Virgil's words. It surprised Scott to learn that Gordon had thrown his report card away. But things in the Tracy household had been turning upside down for a while now.

He knew why.

For the past thirteen years, Jeff had done an amazing job of keeping the Tracy family running smoothly, taking all of his sons in hand when they got out of control, including the wild Alan. But recently, things had started to unravel, from the bottom up. Alan was no longer willing to keep within his father's boundaries and was finding new ways of angering his father faster than his brothers could smooth the previous ones over.

And it was effecting them all more than the small blonde realised. Jeff was at the end of his rope, and Scott had even heard his father on the phone to his grandmother, asking for her advice. If there was one thing that could put Alan in his place, it was Elaine Tracy. But Scott knew his dad didn't want to resort to that. He knew his father, and to hand control of the family over to his mother would spell some sort of weakness in Jeff.

And weakness was one thing Jeff Tracy didn't tolerate. In himself, or in others. So for now, Scott knew his family was safe from his grandmother. But for how much longer could Jeff continue the pretence that he knew what he was doing? Every day Alan was getting wilder and wilder, and nothing that could be done helped any.

And now, to make matters worse it seemed Gordon was starting to follow in his brother's footsteps. Scott didn't know what to do anymore. He settled for letting Virgil get through to Gordon. After all, if he was busy keeping his father sane, Virgil could handle the rest of the family.

Right?

13:50

The door to Jeff Tracy's study slowly creaked open, and a blonde head peered through the crack.

"Dad? You in here?"

There was no reply, so Alan stepped fully into the room, his eyes landing on the chair behind the mahogany desk. It was empty. Frowning, the young blonde turned to leave, when the bright blue folder on his father's desk caught his eye. He knew he shouldn't look, but the words on the front seemed to jump out at him, and made his heart leap into his throat.

Slowly walking over to the desk, he held out trembling fingers and picked up the folder. Shaking his head in denial, he put the folder down again, turning his eyes to look at the title on the other folders and booklets littering his fathers desk.

This was impossible…this couldn't be happening. The bright blue folder with its sharp black words seemed to seep into his brain. He picked it up again, trembling fingers clenching the soft laminated cover, the pressure creasing the edges. **Wharton Academy. The Massachusetts Boarding School for Boys.**

Massachusetts? That was a state further form Kansas than Ohio. Surely his father wouldn't send any of his boys to a state that far away?

Alan shivered. He hadn't finally driven his father too far…. had he? But they all read the same…Boarding schools…and not just in Kansas and New England….they were scattered across America….one was even in Canada.

Alan couldn't help the fear settling in his gut. He'd done it. he'd finally driven his father over the edge. He had to know if it was him they were sending away, and there was only one person he could get the truth from.

14:10

The red-head was staring at the ceiling, as if in a daze, when his younger brother came into the room. When he saw the state his brother was in, he sat up immediately, glancing at Alan in concern. "Alan? What's the matter?"

Alan slipped onto the bed, burying his face in his hands, trying to collect himself together. He was still shaking, but gradually his heart started to slow. Pulling his face away, he turned stricken eyes to Gordon and took a deep breath. "Gordie….dad….he isn't sending me away is he?"

For a minute a frightened look entered Gordon eyes. But it vanished just as quickly, making Alan think he had imagined it. The look that erupted onto Gordon's face a second later made Alan's heart race for the second time in the space of five minutes. Fierce denial entered his heart and he refused to hear the words coming out of his brother's mouth.

"Alan…. dad's sending you to boarding school. He doesn't think public schools are 'good for you'. Says it's because you're not getting…" Alan cut across his brother angrily, not even remembering that this was _Gordon_ he was talking to. "I don't care Gordon. He's sending me _away!_ Do you know that that feels like? Its like...he doesn't want me anymore! I've tried! But how am I supposed to fix whatever I broke between us, if he sends me away?"

"Don't yell at me! I'm not sending you away!"

"I know that!"

The two of them glared at each other, before the stupidness of the situation hit them both. They hadn't argued like this in a long time…arguing for the sake of arguing. Gordon apologised first, his eyes meeting his brothers, reassuring Alan that he was here for him.

"I'm sorry Al…I just.…"

"I know Gordie. And I'm sorry too." They both sat on the edge of the bed, side by side, but not speaking. Eventually, Alan sighed slowly, his eyes meeting Gordon's once more, a frightened look in the blue depths. Gordon's wallowed at Alan's words.

"I don't want to go Gordie…"

"I know Alan. I won't let you go. Not without a fight."

14:10 (simultaneously)

"What's going on Dad?"

Virgil frowned as his father entered the lounge, Scott and John trailing him. Gordon and Alan were nowhere to be seen. Placing the piano lid down gently, Virgil swivelled on the chair, to face his father and brothers, who all seated themselves on the couch. The fact that they weren't in Jeff's office made Virgil even more wary.

Converging in the lounge meant that Jeff was trying to put him at ease. Not good conditions for good news. Sighing slowly, Virgil's father ran a hand through his hair, and then seemed to grow taller, a sign that he had steeled himself for what he was about to say. _Definitely_ not good news.

"I'm sending Alan to boarding school. Wharton Academy in New England."

Virgil blinked slowly, trying to let this news sink in. He never thought it would come to _this._ "You're not serious…" The words left his mouth before he could stop them and was rewarded by a silence from Jeff and harsh looks from his brothers.

So _this_ was what the arguing had been about. "Let me get this straight., You want to pack Alan off to boarding school, because?…" Virgil trailed off, waiting for his father or brothers to finish off the sentence,

"It's the only way I know how, Virgil. I don't know how to deal with this anymore. With every day, Alan gets more and more out of control." Virgil nodded slowly, still trying to get his head around this.

"You told him?" Jeff shook his head and stared at the floor, not sure what he should be saying to reassure his sons. "Not yet. I've only told you three. And Gordon."

Ouch. Virgil winced visibly and gestured out the doorway, in the direction of Gordon's bedroom door. "Alan will know by now."

"I told him not too." Scott's words made Virgil stare at him in disbelief. He wanted to scream in frustration. "And you expect him to _listen?!_ They tell each other _everything_ Scott! And no doubt he's telling Alan right now what you're planning to do! Still. _Boarding_ school? You think that's the answer? That if you send him off to New England somebody else will do what we can't and tame the Tracy wild child?"

"I don't know Virgil. But right now I need him to be someone else's headache." Virgil though that had entered the Twilight Zone. This _wasn't_ his father. Jeff would never give up on Alan so easily…But then this was Alan. And Alan was something Jeff couldn't control _or _understand, And Jeff's solution to things he couldn't understand was to push them aside.

But his was a _son_…

"If that's what you think is best…I just…. don't like it"

"I know. But it's the only way. I contact them, again on Monday. They'll give me an admissions date." Virgil and his brothers nodded, slowly. John sighed and frowned. "I hope its not too soon."

Virgil, adept at reading people, sae the expression on his fathers face and felt a hollow feeling settle in the pit of his stomach. _Maybe Dad _is…..

16:00

The silence at the dinner table was deafening. The tension made them all feel uncomfortable, but none more so than Alan. He picked at his food, aware that everyone was looking at him. Gordon took a deep breath, and decided to speak, wondering if now was such a good time.

"We got our report cards on Tuesday Dad."

Jeff looked up interested and completely missed the way Scott had frozen, and the panicked look on Virgil's face. Surely Gordon wasn't going to say this _now?_ After what they all knew was happening to Alan? For his part, Alan looked straight at Gordon, worry etched onto his young face.

"You did? I haven't seen it yet." Gordon swallowed, and then looked down at his food, only half eaten. Pushing the plate away, he faced his father fully. "That's because I didn't want to show it to you." Jeff looked at Gordon silently, his expression blank. Gordon felt uncomfortable, and stared down at the table.

"Where is it?" It was as if Jeff already knew what had happened. Gordon swallowed again, feeling tears prick at his eyes. Here it came…that disapproving look. "I threw it away. I didn't want you to see how bad I did…" Hearing no words from his father, Gordon risked a glance upwards, and then wished he hadn't. The anger on Jeff's face was like none that Gordon had directed at him before. Pushing back his chair, Jeff stood, still not taking his eyes off of Gordon.

"Your room. Now." His tone suggested immediately, so Gordon pushed back his chair, dejectedly. Silently he slipped out of the room. Jeff threw a warning glance at the rest of his sons, before following Gordon. Almost immediately, Alan pushed his chair back.

"Alan! No!" Scott words made Alan turn back, his blue eyes flashing. "I can't just leave him! It's my fault this is happening! If I hadn't made dad so angry, Gordon wouldn't be being punished this bad!"

"You think that matters to dad, Alan? Stay out of it! If you want to help Gordon don't make it worse by interfering!" Alan knew that Scott spoke the truth, so he settled for eating in silence, and being ready when Gordon would need him.

18:00

Alan crept through the open door slowly, staring helplessly down at the sobbing bundle on the bed. His father had come down only ten minutes ago, making it clear that he wanted no questions from his sons. Scott and Virgil had adhered this almost immediately, ushering Alan upstairs, to see to Gordon. John was nowhere to be seen, and hadn't been since dinner.

Alan slipped across to the bed, holding out a trembling hand. "Gordon?" The sobbing figure jerked a little before continuing to sob. His heart wrenching, Alan sat next to Gordon, placing his hand on his brother's back. Gordon tensed before he relaxed and shifted closer, so that his head was in Alan's lap. He spoke, his words muffled by Alan's lap.

"He was so angry at me Alan. It hurt badly, even when I told him it didn't. I don't think he believed me. I hate disappointing him…" The sobbing bundle across his lap seemed weird to Alan. His brother was the strong one. The one who never let anything get to him. Sighing slowly, Alan wrapped an arm round Gordon's shoulders bring him up, hugging him close.

"I know. And I'm so sorry I couldn't help…" Gordon sniffled against Alan's shoulder and clung to him, in an unusual display of affection. "Don't be. There's nothing you could have done. But it hurt so bad…and now…you're leaving me too….Alan….I don't know what to do…"

Mention of his imminent departure from the Tracy household brought tears to Alan's eyes and he started to cry too. Soon the both of them were curled up on Gordon's bed, crying.

20:30

For a Saturday night it was unusual for any of the boys to be in bed already, but when Scott went to check on his brothers he was surprised to see both Alan and Gordon asleep on the red-heads bed. But then, Considering the day they had had, it wasn't surprising at all.

"They don't deserve any of this."

Scott jumped at his brother voice, wondering how it was that Virgil managed to sneak up on so many people, and not be noticed. "I know. And it seems unfair. But…I can see where Dad's coming from."

"I can't. Sending him away isn't the answer, Scott. Dad needs to fix the problem between them, not make it worse by ignoring it. Alan's going to hate him more for this, more than he ever would when things get out of hand around here."

"And you want to continue fixing things do you Virg?" Scott shut the door so that they wouldn't disturb Alan and Gordon. He sighed slowly. "Because, frankly, I'm sick of being the glue that hold's this family together, and I know that you're feeling the strain too. Do you know how many times _I've_ had to go to the school because dad's not been around? How many times I've listened to dad complain about Alan? I don't want that anymore…"

"So you're all for throwing him out too? Because you know that's what Dad's doing! He's our brother Scott! We're supposed to look out for him. So tell me. How are we supposed to do that if he's in a completely different state?!"

"Look. I don't know okay?! I just don't want to have to carry this around anymore! Ever since mom died, its like I became the second parent. And Ijust want it to stop! Is that too much to ask?!" Scott stormed off down the hallway without waiting for a reply, and Virgil stared at his bedroom door, but wasn't so wrapped up in his own thoughts that he missed the figure of John creeping into his own room, or the smell that lingered after him.

Virgil tensed. On top of everything else he know had _this_ to contend with. John was supposed to be the sensible one! The one that Virgil _didn't _have to look after. This was just perfect.

Maybe Scott had the right idea by wanting out.


End file.
